Power in the name of Jesus

When I was 6 years old I had a three night series of scary dreams: the same basic dream, only a different ending each time.

In my dream the devil was mocking me in the basement of the very home I lived in at the time. I would hear screaming, open a door and walk down a small set of stairs before looking to my left and seeing the shadowy head of a giant spirit rising up from amongst leaping flames. He laughed at me and it was LOUD. And then I'd look a bit ahead and see my loved ones trapped in between walls of flames - not burnt up, but afraid, in pain and very much unable to escape. I'd feel a rush of terror and stop part way down the stairs, helpless.

The first night I just stood there paralyzed with fear. I yelled at the devil "Leave them alone! Let them go!". He only laughed harder. I looked at my family and cried "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!", but I had no idea what to do. It was just a dream right? I'd wake up and it would be over. They just kept screaming and looked at me with pleading eyes while I cried harder than ever. Hopeless would put it lightly.

When the same dream happened again the very next night, I was horrified. The devil ordered "Come here! Youre mine. There's nothing you can do to escape, they didn't. Look at you! God doesn't want you. He doesn't love you. You're terrible, your heart is evil. This is where you belong". I stood there in shock and cried "No! No! This can't be possible!", over and over, but he didn't take one step towards me or reach out to touch me. I desperately stayed on those stairs and cried until the dream faded.

After that second night I shared with my mom that I'd had the same nightmare twice. I don't recall telling her what it was, just that I was very scared it would happen again. She told me about the power of the name of Jesus Christ. She told me that I could shout the name of Jesus if I didn't know what to say, and that He would help me.

That very night the dream happened again. Again I stood on the stairs. I thought about what my mom had said - and yet my mother was there within the wall of flames, with my father, 2 brothers and sister. I was so confused. If my mother knew Jesus, and if there was power in that name, why was she there? Why was she trapped and I wasn't?

As if reading my thoughts (he can't really do that) the devil yelled out at me "Do you think you can help them? Who do you think you are? You can't help them, they belong to me. They knew God and yet I have them here anyways. There's nothing you can do. Who are you?". And he laughed harder and harder, but he didn't try to lure me over this time.

I physically, past my dream, felt my muscles seize up. I tried to speak but no words would come out. I tried to run to my family and pull them free, but my legs wouldn't move. Part of me wanted to turn and run, another part to put him in his place and save my family. But I could do nothing, literally nothing. I tried to wake myself from the dream. The devil only laughed and the flames grew higher. I could feel the intense heat, as if I was going to catch flame myself. I couldn't move at all, like not even a step. I was completely powerless and paralyzed.

So what does one do when the worst dream imaginable won't end, you can't speak or move, and you feel certain you're body is about to die? Your SOUL cries out. You find out that you indeed have a soul and it is very much alive, completely unrestrained by your physical body. My soul screamed out "Jesus!" and God heard from heaven.

In an instant my tongue was loosed and I cried out loud, so the devil COULD hear me "Jesus save them!". Just like that a brilliant light blazed throughout the basement, the flames disappeared, the devil's spirit departed in silence, and my family stood unscathed. I awoke.

I recall awaking in my bed, in the dark of the middle of the night, completely drenched in sweat. I was shaking from head to toe, I don't think a single nerve was untouched. I broke into tears of confession and joy, and so much more I couldn't possibly hope to describe to you. Jesus was alive. I recall crying for a very long time, completely overcome by Jesus and falling asleep this way. That was the last time I dreamt this.

I didn't know exactly why God gave me, or permitted, this 3 night sequence of dreams, I've always been a self conscious and shy perfectionist by nature. Plus they seem rather extreme for a 6 year old child to sort through. I would think of the dreams often and have shared about them occasionally, but I've mostly hidden these dreams in my heart. They served to open my eyes to the spiritual realm at a young age and I've always believed they were to help prepare me for some future time. So I've been waiting, always humbled by my incredible need for Jesus, and my heart has been eager to share Him with others.

I've had some opportunities to do just that through the years; some chances I took and others I didn't. But I've remained rather "frozen" for the most part, unconfident in my position and very aware of my shortcomings. I've desired with all my heart to be used by God but have always found myself unable to do anything good that my heart desired to do. I've earnestly hoped and prayed, even begged, that a day would come where Jesus would equip me to such an extent that my tongue would be loosed for Him - as in my dream when I called out His name and the devil fled.

Last week that happened. This week that happened. Never before has that happened.